Exploration of Insanity, i.e. my week

TODAY’S BREW: Cinnamon Hazelnut New England Coffee, courtesy of Walmart.

By Julie 

For retrospective humor and gaping mouths I shall recount my week in bullet points:

TUESDAY

  • am offered two jobs through Freelancer that sounded completely legit, complete with interviews, offer letters, no info requested that I felt uncomfortable with, job duties listed, details of equipment allocation discussed, legitimate websites linked of actual companies with history, zero scams detected through multiple searches, start dates determined, solving all of our money problems to find out that both of them were elaborate scams that I still cannot see the reason for since neither one of them got anything out of me and never even asked for anything. But Freelancer is very grateful that I brought it to their attention. So there’s that.
  • help clean Mom’s basement and the American Pickerness of it brings about these books I had to bring home from my childhood:books from moms
  • husband brings child twenty minutes away for doctor’s appointment that apparently never existed.
  • Husband returns and plays four square with my husband, kids, elementary school kids and another awesome mom for hours. Was delightful. New rules include Spearing: when one person stands on the outside of the square and just throws sharp shit through it.

WEDNESDAY

  • awesome four square mom friend feels bad about my fake jobs. Brings me lemon soap I will not buy for myself as consolation prize as I wait for Sam outside school after play practice. Beautiful thing.

THURSDAY

  • WINDSTORM OUT OF NOWHERE. Lose power. I may or may not have told you that we lost power overnight last month too. We spent half the night sleeping on the porch in a tent because it was so hot in the house–until the rain began. This is another story for another time. See also: cops are called on me by the crossing guard about my inspection sticker. Vicious fever. Week of book fair. THIS TIME it was cold. I carry lizards in all my pockets and against my body for warmth.

FRIDAY

  • Power will apparently be out until SATURDAY NIGHT AT 8:00. I cannot even. Get kids off to school and go to a friend’s house a few streets over. Carrying with me: 1 laptop, 1 Jango Fett costume for Sam later that night for school Halloween Howl which I will be setting up, unshowered and disoriented from lack of routine, 1 chuckwalla lizard, 1 heat lamp.
  • driving to said friend’s house (a fellow Hedge school  mom), my car’s brakes go. I roll up in front of ANOTHER Hedge school mom’s house and text her that my car is there but I am not.
  • THAT Hedge mom comes to the first mom’s house to help determine my next course of action because Hedge moms be like that. I go to her house with her down the street to meet AAA and have them tow the car to my house .3 miles away. (note: as soon as I stepped out the door a moth flew INTO my mouth. Hilarity ensues. Just not for me.)
  • While Pete Davidson the tow truck driver is with me, first mom texts me that Gila has gotten out of his cage:gila at cory's
  • Gila is returned to cage. Displeasure occurs. gila imprisoned at cory's
  • Almost time to pick up all of our kids, and stay at school to set up for the Halloween Howl. Put together a bunch of bags of treats with second mom for bake sale within.
  • Set up tons of decorations with a bunch of kids for this killer party at the school along with a bake sale and craft room and I am still unshowered and disoriented. Get ride home for about 20 minutes to eat cold pizza in impending darkness but SURPRISE! WE HAVE POWER! It was only almost 2 days.
  • Because why stop now, back to Halloween Howl for all the fun ever. Dance party with Jango Fett and a bunch of hilarious children and with pizza and cake. Unfiltered, unshowered proof: howl
  • Get home, cannot find the car key from the tow truck driver. Must call because at one point I said to Pete Davidson in face and demeanor to “leave it in the igniton” and he thought I said “throw it in the ocean” which is literally on the way to my house at the end of my street. True fear. But alas, it was under the seat.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I Can Have As Many Halloween Posts As I Want

TODAY’S BREW: less than I’d like because apparently my blood pressure rises with caffeine. Like the sun does.

By Julie 

HALLOWEEN APPROACHES and I couldn’t very well call myself Pretty Scary Author if I wasn’t totally immersed in it. Obvs it evolved from running short story showcases every October and wanting to celebrate Women In Horror month but never getting around to it to all the kiddo fun–but god I am still such a creep, and I try to PG-13 myself down so I don’t become a total freak in my kids’ eyes. Though, my kids are pretty weird too. LOOK, Samuel as Eleven last year and Benny as Dustin in the Ghostbusters costume!

Halloween 2018

For now I still get to trick or treat and go to all the family Halloween things and pumpkin picking–which I’ll probably always do. LOOK, WE FOUND A CONJOINED TWIN PUMPKIN:

Though I really want to call it a bubble-blowing double baby reminiscent of SpongeBob.

The place I’m super dying to go to for Halloween as a dream date (hope you’re paying attention, Tim), that I just discovered yesterday is Ravenwood Haunted Farm.

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It’s everything my heart desires. It’s worthy of wearing my orange tutu…to.

My scary read right now is the SHADOW HOUSE series by Dan Poblocki. Fun on their own, not to mention with covers that I adore, but the app makes it soooooo worth it. Haunted house plus scary orphans and pictures a la MISS PEREGRINE books, like this:

There’s a sigil on these photos that you link to the app:

See the source image

 

and you get to do a choose-your-own-adventure horror story. SUPER FUN. Buy these books. Shadow House

My favorite Halloween decorations this year:

halloween 2019

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Show me some of your favorite decorations, because I know you guys are dying to. Now if you’ll excuse me I have back to back Halloween baking shows to watch.

My October Fun Times List!

TODAY’S BREW: it should be pumpkin, but I’m going with the underrated cinnamon

By Julie

HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD, IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

*builds a cabinet of curiosities, drinks pumpkin beer out of a black cat’s severed head*

Like any creep of a writer, I goddamn adore October. Orange is my favorite color. Pumpkin is my favorite flavor. Sweatpant weather is my favorite weather. I could keep going, but you know the autumn drill.

READ MY NEW BOOK, THE AUTUMN DRILL. No, I joke.

Here’s what I’m looking forward to this October, and you should too because I will bully you into it.

  • HALLOWEEN WARS on the Food Network. My youngest boy is obsessed with this show, and as a child with OCD, the first season he saw it, I had to record every one so he could watch them daily until the following October. But I like it too.
  • MY ACTUAL CABINET OF CURIOSITIES. Realized I basically live in a cabinet of curiosities because I love weird plants, creepy old books, a heap of old stuff, skeletons, scary animals, oddities of the medical variety, and other Gothic and emo stuff. I embrace it. So I really went all out and just made one. I’ll take pictures.
  • THE PUMPKIN SPOOKTACULAR AT ROGER WILLIAMS PARK ZOO WHICH IS NO LONGER CALLED THE PUMPKIN SPOOKTACULAR BUT THAT’S WHAT I WILL CONTINUE TO CALL IT. https://youtu.be/W2PYfNIeRuQ We go as a family every year, and it’s chilly and eerie and there’s pumpkin beer with cinnamon on top and hot chocolate and popcorn and it’s what Halloween was meant for.
  • THERE IS A NEW PUMPKIN SPOOKTACULAR THAT ISN’T ACTUALLY CALLED THAT WHICH I WILL GO TO because it’s at the Odd Pet Vet/New England Wildlife Center and I love it there, and they take care of animals that need it.. http://www.newildlife.org/2017/09/newc-night-of-a-thousand-faces-2017/
  • HEDGE ACADEMY. I started running a course for our elementary school that I call “Writing Outside the Box,” and it is just so inspiring to watch a group of young kids with crazy talent and drive write whatever they want, and be so eager to share it. It amazes me the amount of writing and illustrating talent comes from them, and I love having a part in it.
  • THE GIFTED. I love X-Men. I fell in love with the comics as a teenager and LOVE digging in to the mythos and storylines like falling down a rabbit hole. So to see this tv show after having loved Legion, and looking so forward to getting into The Inhumans, because Black Bolt and Medusa, I’m ready to geek out hard.
  • WHILE WE’RE ON IT, AMERICAN HORROR STORY FOREVER. FOREVERRRRRR. I’ve been obsessed since season 1. I know you guys are too. Tell me which season was your favorite, it was Coven, I know it was. Though I loved Asylum and Hotel.
  • GOTHAM. I so love this show. Penguin is my boo.
  • HALLOWEEN JUNK JOURNAL SUPPLIES. This will be a post or two all to itself. When I was writing THE WIND BETWEEN WORLDS, I stumbled upon this junk journaling thing with this incredible spellbook/scrapbook on Etsy. It was everything my book was, and it’s become an incredible inspiration to me in my writing since. To collect all the things that make me think of my book, jot down ideas, my favorite quotes, and make it into this sort of grimoire is uplifting.
  • OH YEAH, THE WIND BETWEEN WORLDS. This was my first venture into YA, though I personally find RUNNING HOME to be waaaayyyyy less racy than this book. Want the blurb? I give you the blurb:

Sixteen-year-old Celeste is the Witch of Stars and leader of her coven, the Five Poisons. But Celeste feels her greatest powers are in chewing anxiety pills and stress-eating. Uniting the vicious witches who share nothing but their unique forms of magic and a list of family dysfunctions is fruitless. The Poisons see only weakness in Celeste, for stifling her magic upon her mommy’s request. Using magic drains their mothers, the Elementals, but Celeste is the only one of the Poisons who doesn’t want her mother dead.

When a demon breaks through The Chains, the magical veil into the human world, Celeste tries proving herself to her coven by confronting him on her own. Through his eyes she discovers that the Elementals have been feeding the Poisons lies about demons, magic, their heritage, and the coven’s purpose. Worse yet, the abuse, manipulation and oppression Celeste’s coven has suffered at their mothers’ hands was more than tough love; it was to strengthen the girls’ powers for a Halloween harvest, to weave their souls into The Chains that they serve.

Celeste will do anything to save the Poisons, from traversing the wicked realm of The Gone, following the demon who’s shown her the truth, to waging war upon the Elementals. But to end the grisly cycle the Elementals have created means the Witch of Stars must either show her mother mercy and live in the false world she knows, or sacrifice herself in ways no magic can reverse.

Obviously, she gets released on Halloween, all fingers crossed. I’ll give you everything you need to know this month.

  • TRICK OR TREATING. We get a group upwards of ten kids sometimes to go trick or treating, and we generally end up at the PTA co-presidents’ house, which is the most Halloweeny of any house, complete with smoking cocktails and gourmet creepy treats and all our kids play in the pitch black backyard. I love our neighborhood so much.
  • MY HYSTERECTOMY. Didn’t see that coming, did you? After YEARS upon YEARS of being beaten by fibroid tumors the size of the super size oranges, I’ve had enough. Naturally, I schedule this surgery on Friday the 13th. Hashtag Halloween Hysterectomy.
  • OH, OF COURSE, HUNDREDS OF HORROR MOVIES. Looking forward to multiple viewings of The Ring, Thirteen Ghosts, House on Haunted Hill, Silent Hill, all the hills, Lost Boys, Nightmare on Elm Street, and any others I can jam in there.
  • HALLOWEEN COMIC FEST.  https://www.halloweencomicfest.com/ Any questions? (I do so look forward to all the David S. Pumpkins things.)

Okay, I’ll stop now, but I could keep going because I didn’t even venture into pumpkin picking, farm stands, and blood.

But this month I’m overjoyed to release THE WIND BETWEEN WORLDS, for you all to become familiar with the book that I’ve had in my dirty clutches for too long. The Poisons birthdays are all on Halloween, naturally, and Celeste, my Witch of Stars is in love with autumn just like I am. I may or may not have bought an army issue messenger bag with pumpkins handpainted on it because I knew she would have one. OH, if you want to explore the world a bit, the book and its sequel and prequel have about a hundred boards on my Pinterest. The Witch of Sweets, the Witch of Empty Things, The Demon Prince, they all get one. https://www.pinterest.com/hutchingsjulie/

Okay, okay, I have to stop now, but enjoy your October, everyone! And PLEASE. DO TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS WHAT YOU LOVE MOST ABOUT OCTOBER AND HALLOWEEN. I always need new suggestions!!!