#IndieAuthorDay

TODAY’S BREW: caffeine mainlined into each eyeball

By Julie 

First, thank you to everyone who’s reached out or thought of me and my family in the passing of my stepdad, Wayne Nelson. He was the most generous soul in the world and is sorely missed.

I’m not ready to talk about that yet. What I am ready to talk about is strength. Strength in the face of opposition, grief, anger. I’ve felt all these things in plethora especially over the last few weeks. Exhausting doesn’t begin to describe it–from Wayne’s stroke and the subsequent days of hospital visits and travel arrangements and all the emotion of that, to having shingles and setting me back for a week or two, to starting a side business while trying to edit for clients and get kids back to school and to regular therapy appointments while maintaining FUN, and running the enormous Scholastic Book Fair for our little school (YAY HEDGE, we earned over $2500 to spend on books and other school needs), yeah, stuff is tiring. You could say I do it to myself–I would say that I volunteer myself to do it.

tribute

One of the things I’ve done for myself is becoming an indie publisher. These last several weeks have been grueling–but through it all I was determined to have THE HARPY out by October 20th no matter what. See, I absolutely HAD to be a part of a big ol’ book signing and beer guzzling event I learned of, Spooks and Spirits right here in my hometown of Plymouth at Dirty Water Distillery. You can click on those things, guys.

OH YEAH, COME SEE ME AND GET A SIGNED COPY OF THE HARPY FOR THE FIRST TIME OUT IN THE WORLD

October 20th

Dirty Water Distillery 

10 Water Street, Plymouth MA

12-6pm

So I got my act together in the midst of all the emotional turmoil and dinosaur fights and I got the perfect team together to make the release happen. Now enjoy this tiny video:

The Perfect Team

The extra pressure of getting the book out wasn’t MORE tiring than what I was already doing–it added strength to it. It reinforced my backbone, reminded me constantly that not matter what else was going on, what I was doing for others, what was happening that was out of my control, what I was watching being taken away from me, this was all mine to handle. This was a hell beast that I created and gave name to and released at my own whim. I had utter control here in every way. And while I was getting a little lost amongst doing All the Things, THE HARPY was always right there staring at me, counting down its minutes to birth, and saying, “You did this. You’re doing this. Even now.”

Indie authors are heroes. All writers are. But the world of indie publishing puts everything in my grasp, while also, PUTS EVERYTHING IN MY HANDS. It’s wild responsibility, incredible pressure, powerfully humbling (even as we brag about it), and leaves us both vulnerable and stronger. Above all, the indie author is the one who says, “This goddamn creation is getting out into the world no matter what.”

As a developmental editor as well, I get to work with so many indie authors that lay out their heart and soul to me and say without reservation, “Tell me what’s wrong. Don’t be shy.” That’s a strength that I admire to the pit of my gut. (By the way, folks, editing is not to tell you what’s wrong. A good editor should highlight what’s knock-you-on-your-ass amazing and show you how to leverage it to strengthen your weaknesses.)

*winks at camera* Contact me for Undeaditing, writerlies.

So to all the indie authors out there who inspire me, congratulations, and above all, thank you. Thank you for fighting through the self-doubt and Impostor Syndrome. Thank you for taking chances. Thank you for producing art for you. Thank you for producing art for the rest of us. Thank you for standing behind what you create and showing the world what’s really important. Thank you for showing our kids that there is more than one way to be a success. Thank you for showing them what a labor of love looks like. Thank you for shaping a new world where books can keep up with our brains and our chaotic lives. You matter to me. You’ve got a life outside of your books, and to have the self-discipline that you do to not get lost in that life and ignore the hard stuff that you so easily could is what real power looks like.

Fight on, indie authors. Be the strength you want to see in the world.

If you’re so inclined, I’d love you to preorder THE HARPY for only 99 cents.

How To Summer by Julie

TODAY’S BREW: still hot coffee despite the heat that even my lizards hate.

By Julie 

The school year is overrrrrr! I do a lot with the school, so this is like quitting a part time job, not to mention that I’m probably over-involved to the point of smothering with my boys so that’s taxing. For me. AHAHAHAHAHA no seriously though.

But this year ended with Bennett getting a presidential award for his academic achievements in elementary school, one of only a handful of kids, and it’s a big deal. I’m sodden with happy mom tears. And Sammy got a Best Effort award at the last ceremony, his first award in two years, and that’s a huge deal too–because the amount of effort he puts in on a daily basis is staggering, and harder to see. I could go on all day about a child with mood disorders and OCD and their struggles, but that is not what I’m here for today.

What I’m here for today is to say SCHOOL IS OUT FOR THE SUMMER.

This for me means…

person holding clear glass ball with flame

…if you look closely enough you can see me screaming in the blaze deep in the little hamster ball.

Nooo, not just heat beyond my wildest imagination, but TIME.

Generally I’m so CAMP MOM-like that writing falls to the side. Coincidentally, during the school year when I’m very involved there, writing falls to the side. Because I am a mom first. A very dedicated mom. But this summer is different. Sam is 8–old enough and stable enough to leave with his 11 year old brother for an hour or two even. They occupy themselves a lot. They understand completely that I have something to do and SUPPORT me in that. They’re proud of my writing, of what I do. So it’s going to be a productive and yet also relaxed summer! ALL MY YEARS OF HARD WORK TO CREATE WORK/LIFE BALANCE MIGHT PAY OFF!

To be able to chill out with the kids after writing, to be able to write after a day out somewhere (we’re huge advocates of a day trip), to be able to say “grab something for a snack, you won’t die, and I’ll make dinner in a half hour” is incredibly freeing.

I most certainly pat myself on the back for these, and the extraordinary amount of other measures I’ve taken, to give my kids and myself some supported freedom.

I’ve also learned that the if only approach is complete bullshit. If only I had help for one more day a week, if only the kids could go outside on their own right now, if only I wasn’t the one in charge of all the household duties, etc… Tough, life doesn’t stop for that stuff, and life isn’t ideal all the time, but I LIKE IT. I’m happy as hell, to be honest. Wishing for more time, more help, more energy, it doesn’t work. Ironically, it saps time and energy until I can’t even ask for said help.

JUST DO IT AND DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES LATER.

It’s like the whole “ask forgiveness, not permission” thing. Except it’s for and from myself. And it’s also ass backwards. I can and will do all the stuff I have to do, I’ll put my head down and actually enjoy it despite its challenges, and I’m okay with not getting to write for a day because there was too much laundry, I wanted to hang out with the kids, I wanted to do something else, anything else!

Accepting all the circumstances of my life and living it is pretty nice.

Striving for better is great. Wishing for better sucks.

Enjoying what I have is awesome. Optimism rules. I’m lucky to be the person that’s always known this.

What I will work on though, is setting boundaries for myself–not goals exactly–boundaries. Saying no sometimes. No to writing, no to cooking (gladly), no to a day trip, no to saying I’m too tired and don’t feel like it. It’s a balance of knowing when I’m slacking and when I’m living and when I’m doing too much.

Will this go super smoothly? Probably not. Will I get a book out in July and another in September? This is the plan.

It is not a plan of WRITE 1000 WORDS A DAY OR SEVER A LIMB, it’s a plan where I take into account that I’m a PERSON, that I don’t fit into a rule-box, even if I’m the one making it, and a plan to put books out my way. They may not make me rich, but they’re exactly as I want them, though not always as fast as I want them. And I’ll do it while loving and living life, though I may not fit into the indie schedule and production life that would make me “successful.” Success is many-layered. I’m okay making the bulk of my income from editing rather than writing. It may not always be that way, but so far? It works. And they’re both part of my same dream WHERE I FALL INTO A BOOK AND IT EATS ME ALIVE.

So folks, give a little. Live a little. Shut up and work a little. Thank yourself sometimes, and kick yourself in the ass sometimes, but not too much of the latter. Be present. Stop. Say no. Do what you want. Be who you are.

And hide in the air conditioning and cry until the heat goes away.